I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
