Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
