i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
home. puking in laundry basket.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
