Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
