Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
