The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
