butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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