From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
