it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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