i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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