WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
