I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
