so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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