just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
