Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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