i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
