I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
