I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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