laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
