I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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