i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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