butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
