all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
