My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just googled if crying burns calories
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
