Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
