They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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