Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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