i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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