Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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