this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
