sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
