I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
