After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
