Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
