This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
