I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize