I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
