Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
