Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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