I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize