I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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