love makes seman taste better
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
