3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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