no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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