drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
