i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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