..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
