Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
