this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
