We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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