How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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