dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
