So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I need a beard to bite.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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