im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We have started to decorate penises.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
