If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
