i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
