I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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