i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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