I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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