one two three fourrrrnication!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
