Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
