Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize