I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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