it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Floor bacon is actually really good
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
