your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
