How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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