Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It's like God shit irony all over that family
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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