So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
