he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize