please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
