this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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