I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You're a waste of cheezeits
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
