I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
