someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
