Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
